Conversations with a Mirror...

दर्द कुछ देर ही रहता है, बहुत देर नहीं... जिस तरह शाख से तोड़े हुए एक पत्ते का रंग मांद पड़ जाता है, कुछ रोज़ अलग शाख से रहकर... शाख से टूट कर ये दर्द जीएग कब तक ?  खत्म हो जाएगी जब इसकी रसद,  टीम-टिमायेगा ज़रा देर को बुझते-बुझते...  और फिर लम्बी सी एक साँस धुएं की लेकर, खत्म हो जायेगा, ये दर्द भी... बुझ जायेगा..!  क्यूंकि दर्द कुछ देर ही रहता है, बहुत देर नहीं...  : गुलज़ार 

नज़्म उलझी हुई है सीने में, मिसरे अटके हुए हैं होठों पर... उड़ते फिरते हैं तितलियों की तरह, लफ्ज़ कागज़ पे बैठते ही नहीं... कब से बैठा हूँ मैं जानम, सादे कागज़ पे लिखके नाम तेरा... बस तेरा नाम ही मुकम्मल है, इस से बेहतर भी नज़्म क्या होगी...!

Joker: So, I see you received the free ticket I sent you. I'm glad. I did so want you to be here.You see, it doesn't matter if you catch me and send me back to the Asylum.Gordon's been driven mad. I've proved my point! I've demonstrated that even the sanest man alive can be driven to lunacy! All it takes is one bad day.That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once. Am I right? I know I am. You had a bad day, and everything changed! Why else would you dress up as a flying rat? You had a bad day, and it drove you as crazy as everybody else! Only you won't admit it! You have to keep pretending that life makes sense. That there's some point to all this struggling. GOD you make me want to puke! I mean what is it with you? What made you what you are? Girlfriend killed by the mob, maybe? Brother carved up by some mugger? Something like that I bet...something like that... ...something like that...happened ...

जगह नहीं है और डायरी में, ये ऐशट्रे पूरी भर गयी है... भरी हुई है जले-बुझे अधकहे ख़यालों की राखो-बू से, ख़याल पूरी तरह से जो के जले नहीं थे... मसल दिया था-दबा दिया था, पर बुझे नहीं वो, कुछ उनके टुर्रे पड़े हुए हैं... बस एक-दो कश ही ले के कुछ मिसरे रह गए थे, कुछ ऐसी नज़्में जो तोड़ कर फेंक दी थीं उसमें, धुआँ न निकले... कुछ ऐसे अश-आर जो मेरे "ब्रैंड" के नहीं थे, वो एक ही कश में खांसकर, ऐशट्रे में -- घिस के बुझा दिए थे... इस ऐशट्रे में, ब्लेड से काटी रात की नब्ज़ से टपकते सियाह क़तरे भी बुझे हुए हैं... इस ऐशट्रे में, हैं तीलियाँ कुछ कटे हुए नामों, नंबरों की.. जलाई थी चंद नज़्में जिन से... धुआँ अभी तक दियासलाई से झड रहा है, उलट-पुलट के तमाम सफ़्हों में झाँकता हूँ, कहीं कोई तुर्रा नज़्म का बच गया हो तो उसका कश लगा लूं... तलब लगी है !!! ये ऐशट्रे पूरी भर गयी है...

पूछा था एक सवाल जिंदगी से कभी, सवाल का जवाब भी सवाल था... आईने में तलाशा खुदको एक रोज़, जो दिखा वो भी शायद एक सवाल था... जवाबों की इस नाकाम तलाश में मेरी, हर सवाल, जवाब और जवाब सिर्फ सवाल था... 

The night dies every morning but she laughs at the day after all. You must hide the sun from her, I got through, but I’m still here. I was looking for joy, your treasure you cried for me and I forgot you after all, I did find nothing, but love I got through, come and find me. Minutes, hours, days, weeks passing by but you have to wait. If a door opens in the distance got through, come and follow me! : James Douglas "Jim" Morrison

An angel runs Thru the sudden light, Thru the room... Again  and again... A ghost precedes A shadow follows, And each time she stops she falls... Again and again...

a state of altered awareness. a state of complete freedom. a state of unbidden thoughts. a state of meditation. a state of infinite possibilities. a state of crossing over. a state of cognitive loop. a state of ecstasy. a state of enchantment. a state of awakening. a state of out of body experience.  a state of enhanced suggestibility. a state of healing. a state of lost dreams. a state of forgotten reality.  a state of conscious depth. a state here, and beyond. A State of Trance...

सज़ा पे छोड़ दिया, जहां पे छोड़ दिया, हर एक काम को हमने खुदा पे छोड़ दिया... वो हमको याद रखें या फिर भुला दें अब, उसी का काम था, उसी की रज़ा पे छोड़ दिया... अब उसकी मर्ज़ी भुझा दे, या जला दे, चिराग हमने जला के हवा पे छोड़ दिया... अब उससे बात किये बगैर कैसे रहेंगे हम ? ये मसला दुआ का था, सो दुआ पे छोड़ दिया... इसलिए तो वो कहते हैं दीवाने हम को,   हमने तो ये सारा ज़माना वफ़ा पे छोड़ दिया...

The news that Krishna was leaving spread like wildfire throughout Vrindavan. The youth sensed that they were losing a staunch friend; the maidens sensed that they were losing a man of their dreams and Radha.... Before Radha could even begin to ponder upon the consequences, the melodious sound of a flute wafted throughout the village. The women left what they were doing and ran to the Madhuban. There was no time to wear their ornaments or comb their hair. While running they tried to arrange their clothes to give an appearance of modesty but soon gave up. Radha picked up her anklets and raced ahead of everyone else, her bosom heaving with excitement. Her Kahn was calling her. Krishna was standing in his usual spot, his right leg crossed over his left, and playing his flute with gay abandon. Radha cuddled up to him and began to sway in the rhythm of his music. The other maidens formed circles around them and began to dance. The men folk, the elders and children too had come there, but ...

An empty stage materializes. A phantom light breaks through the misty unknown, dividing darkness. A solitary orb settles upon the elevated, dusty old floorboards. Nothing has past, no one is present. Suddenly, flares of crimson punch through the density. “Yea, c’mon” A wily metallic chatter descends from the rafters, followed by a sonic vibration below. The instance plays on, resurrecting in the forsaken vacancy.  The beast draws its breath, and then it happens. With a scream from the nether declaring “We are here”, all pistons are ablaze. A neon electric frequency cracks open the air, letting loose howling demons from another world. And so begins our excursion through voice and madness, isolation and deformity, desolation and obscurity, truth and pain, and the space in between. The doors of perception are open. The cascading noise speaks, “When the music’s over…” It beckons curiosity. It speaks again “When the music’s over…” It demands attention. “When the music’s over…” The reci...

The flame from my lighter kissed the well tapped cigarette and through the smoke of my FIRST puff I saw her... It was a cold evening. I was just sitting with a pack of cigarettes and a hot cup of coffee thinking - what to really think about ?  I generally have a lot to say when someone points me in a direction but its a difficult job to start a conversation with yourself sometimes.You know the normal routine.  And there she was. It was a long time since we meet, or talked or even thought about each other. I don't know why but I smiled. The next thing I remember is she sitting next to me. "Whats up ? Where have you been ?" she said. "Nothing much.. Office-Home-Office and weekends are hectic then weekdays if you know what I mean.." and again there was that stupid smile on my face. Suddenly I was not able to ignore the countless unanswered calls apart from hundreds of messages which I left her. Oh yes.. And the sweet little chat about her boyfriend who was...

Somethings in life just come uninvited in terms of pain or happiness. But as a human being you always gets used to it. On the contrary you don't realize how much that effects us. Off course you need some or the other reason to blame on for whatever is happening in your life. Something is happening in your favor : may be because of the reason I am happy is the actual reason for that. You are getting a stick : may be because of the reason I am in this misery is the actual reason for this too.  My point is whether it is black or white it just comes in and be with you somewhere. Deep down somewhere. May be in your unconsciousness. Sometimes the only consistency in your life. Everything is going somewhere, everything is changing, everything wants to be something else. But this shade in your head is the only thing which is STILL . No matter how much you try to shake it, ignore it, rub it - it just keeps on gettin...

Search : All time top trance tracks. Result   : bla.. bla.. Blue Fear.. bla.. Burned with desire.. bla.. bla.. This is how, I introduced myself to Armin Van Buuren back in 2008.I din't had a clue what this Genre is all about and Armin became the reason why I went into this rabbit hole. I knew it was something else at that moment of time but din't knew it'll be so INTENSE . There are concerts which are exceptions.. then there are concerts which are beautiful.. and then there are concerts which are "exceptionally beautiful". I witnessed something like that on 24th Jan 2014. 125 BPM -- The stage was set. Crowd cheering. Stadium capacity about 40%. Setting up the mood. Everyone just trying to believe that they are there and its gonna be one hell of a 6 hour run. 130 BPM -- Short but sweet try by Eller Van Buuren on acoustic guitar( Wish you were here ). Crowd going impatient. Beers. Smokes. The wait !!! 135 BPM -- "God of Trance" fina...

Your birth, controlled by birth parents... Your education, controlled by the government... Your grades, controlled by an answer key... Your work, controlled by money... Your emotions, controlled by situations... Your expectations, controlled by outcome... Your journey, controlled by destination... Your life, controlled by death... and vice-a-verse !!!  So, sit back .. Relax .. Because nothing is under your control after all...